Comparison Cage
 | Author:
Ellie West, Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy
Inside Inspiration: Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy |
Comparison Cage Ellie West, Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy One of the deepest needs of people is to be valued and appreciated. Charles Schwab says, “The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement". When someone encourages, values, or congratulates you on a job well done, it lifts your spirit and builds confidence.
I can only imagine what it must have been like for James - Jesus’ younger brother. Can you even fathom how difficult that must have been for James? His older brother was perfect in every sense of the word. I would think James would have been envious and somewhat jealous of his older brother. But James had a more profound insight into jealousy and envy. It states in James 3:16 TPT, “So wherever jealousy and selfishness are uncovered, you will also find many troubles and every kind of meanness”.
Envy and jealousy are the roots of all kinds of things, making breaking out of the cage of comparison very difficult. Jealousy or envy may trigger negative feelings about someone else’s achievements or success. It’s a tug-o-war that continually plays inside our hearts and minds - to feel bad when someone succeeds but good when someone fails. In whatever relationship we become jealous of, we will find disorder.
Even as a young girl, I compared what we had or didn’t have with our neighbors, friends, and immediate family members. Perhaps, you have had a challenging childhood or disappointing marriage, but God doesn’t ask you to change what you’ve been given - He only asks you to use what you’ve been given. Being caged in by comparison, envy, and jealousy carried well into my years. I began to see things differently when we went through some difficult years. Each time those feelings of comparison began to surface, I would choose to celebrate, encourage and inspire others out loud and on purpose. Learning to be content and grateful for what we had been given helped shape our character, strengthen our faith and build trust.
Comparison only diminishes your uniqueness and your distinctive potential. What you have is less important than what you do with what you have. You have a family, dreams, education, a network of friends, a specific look, wealth, a career, and health, all specific and unique to you. Focusing on someone else’s life will cause you to miss out on the exclusive opportunities only given to you, as you weren’t intended to be that other person.
My husband and I have discussed the comparison cage extensively over the years. It is something that has affected him his entire life. He grew up as the middle child and was often compared to his older brother. Most are familiar with the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. ~Teddy Rosevelt
Comparison robs an individual of their dreams and passion and steals a person's joy, just as it did my husband. It has taken years to embrace what was given uniquely to only him…to heal from the comparison cage. Finding his voice, passion, and purpose has begun to surface, allowing him to dream again.
The good news is that you can break away from being caged in by comparison. You could do something as simple as handwriting a note of congratulations, encouragement, or inspiration to a deserving person. Just something so simple has the power to free you from comparison.
A grateful attitude becomes a lens through which you perceive life. Gratitude enables you to see the light of God shining through all circumstances, whether good or bad. Be inspired and motivated by others; by the end of the day, you will find contentment from celebrating others.
Do what you can with what you have been given, and you will begin recognizing what God has entrusted to you and accomplish what God has planned for your life. You have been given dreams, gifts, and talents that are uniquely yours.
Celebrate what God has given others, and grasp what God has given you! And when those blessings come, thanking God puts you in a modest position to put those gifts to good use.
“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” ~Unknown
To connect with Ellie: FB/IG @coachelliewest
