Setting Boundaries
 | Author:
Ellie West, Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy
Inside Inspiration: Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy |
Setting Boundaries Ellie West, Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy Setting personal boundaries is an integral part of your self-care and can help you prioritize your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. We all have had relationships that have helped us understand the need for boundaries. Striving to put our health and well-being first allows us to establish boundaries; for some, it may come naturally. For others, it may cause some anxiety.
I used to think that we set boundaries for others, but the reality is that we set boundaries for ourselves. Over the years, it has been challenging and necessary to set healthy boundaries and be careful not to set unhealthy or rigid ones. Rigid may mean we sometimes put up a wall instead of a boundary, perhaps out of hurt or pure exhaustion. Let’s say you have set a rigid boundary with another person, and now, that person really needs some help and summons you. Are you willing and able to help that individual by putting aside your boundary?
One of the boundaries I have set over the last several years for myself is muting some social media accounts. Some accounts may be going in a direction that is not helpful in a story I want to tell myself. Doing this has been so freeing, and I have felt such peace in allowing what I let in and what I allow out of my life since setting that particular boundary.
I have had to ask myself whether I want to follow those voices if they don’t align with mine. If I find they don’t allow me to grow to become the best version of whom God called me to be, then I choose to mute.
Another boundary that I have is centered around conversations. Some conversations may get off track, and at that point, I will either shift the topic, not engage in the discussion (depending on the setting) or walk away. Being mindful of the words spoken in conversations aligns beautifully with self-care.
From the very beginning of our marriage, my husband and I set a boundary not to have a TV in our bedroom. Over the years, and living in a digital age, small electronic devices have crept into our sleeping areas. Avoiding screen time and the circadian rhythm-disrupting blue light it emits close to bedtime has become necessary. It wasn’t until recently that I had to set a new boundary to optimize our sleeping time, which heals our bodies.
Turning off my iPad and cell phone one hour before bed has made me feel more rested after a good night’s sleep. Keeping digital devices at bay has allowed me to read a chapter in a book or put on a hypnosis meditation and practice deep breathing. Not only does it help to de-stress me, but it also quiets my mind for an easier time to relax and doze off.
I recently flew with a relatively junior flight attendant, and the conversation came up regarding sleep since we were flying on an international trip. Flying internationally weekly causes an erratic sleep pattern, as does domestic flying with short layovers in different time zones. She had mentioned to me how terrible her sleep is, not only at work but at home as well. She has tried several various sleep aids, and nothing seems to be working for her. When she mentioned to me that she goes to bed with her phone, smartwatch, and AirPods near, I couldn’t help but wonder if the electronic devices at bedtime are disrupting her sleep.
It is difficult for those of us that travel weekly to establish a stable nighttime routine, but there are some boundaries that we can put in place to help ease our thoughts and minds, as well as be consistent in establishing our sleep routines. A great place to start is to turn off all electronic devices an hour before bed, place your phone in airplane mode, and use the do not disturb feature.
Setting boundaries for our sleep is just as important as setting boundaries in relationships. Sleep is essential for your health, so you must learn to protect it. In doing so, you will soon cultivate a sense of balance, peace, harmony, and calm before and during bedtime.
“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” ~Doreen Virtue
To connect with Ellie: FB/IG @coachelliewest
