Complicated Conflict
 | Author:
Ellie West, Master Certified Practitioner of NLP, TLT, & Hypnotherapy and Certified Personal Empowerment and Enneagram Coach
Inside Inspiration: Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy |
Complicated Conflict: A Call for Peace in Our Communities
Ellie West
Master Certified Practitioner of NLP, TLT, & Hypnotherapy and Certified Personal Empowerment and Enneagram Coach
Living in a small town is a dream for many. As a native of the beautiful state of Montana, I feel incredibly blessed to call it home. I have traveled the world, yet no place compares to the beauty, community, and spirit of our small town.
However, living in a small town also makes conflicts more visible. We notice the tensions between businesses, neighbors, and community members. Unresolved disputes can linger, creating an undercurrent of division that hurts those directly involved and the entire town.
Recently, while scrolling through a local Facebook page, I came across a post that left me in disbelief. It was filled with hurt, frustration, and bitterness—understandable emotions that, when aired publicly, can cause more harm than healing. Small businesses, the lifeblood of our community, are struggling from economic pressures and the weight of ongoing conflicts. When discord takes root, it affects livelihoods, relationships, and the heart of our town.
I empathize deeply with the emotions behind these disputes. Yet, I also recognize that how we handle conflict determines whether we heal or divide further. Big fights often start over minor misunderstandings—an innocent comment taken the wrong way, a response that comes off as defensive, an assumption that escalates tension. Before we know it, the original issue is buried beneath layers of resentment.
Through personal experience, I have learned that reacting impulsively in conflict rarely leads to resolution. Defensive words, accusations, and emotional outbursts may feel justified in the moment, but they often escalate the problem or drive it underground, allowing resentment to fester.
Some individuals seem to attract conflict, and while we cannot control how others behave, we can control how we respond. To bring peace to our community, we must choose healthier ways to navigate conflict.
Here are some principles to consider:
1. Choose peace over pride. The Bible reminds us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Peace does not mean avoiding conflict but seeking resolution that fosters healing rather than division. It requires humility, patience, and the willingness to listen.
2. Know which battles are worth fighting. Not every disagreement requires a response. Not every offense must be retaliated against. Some conflicts are better left in the past, while others require thoughtful resolution. Ask yourself: Is this issue worth the hardship it is causing? If not, let it go.
3. Focus on what you can control. We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves. Instead of wishing someone else would act differently, consider: Can I change my attitude? My expectations? My words? My approach? Often, small shifts in our behavior lead to significant improvements in our relationships.
4. Speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 urges us to “speak the truth in love.” Truth, when spoken without love, can feel like an attack. Love, without truth, can enable unhealthy patterns. The goal is to communicate in a way that builds bridges, not walls. Before speaking, ask yourself: Is what I am about to say helpful, necessary, and kind?
5. Seek wisdom over impulse. Conflict resolution is not about winning an argument but restoring peace. Instead of reacting defensively, try saying, “I could be wrong, but…” or “Help me understand your perspective.” A willingness to listen can turn tense interactions into productive conversations.
Our world is already filled with enough turbulence. As members of this community, we have a responsibility to be peacemakers. This does not mean we ignore injustice or allow wrongdoing to go unchecked. It means we approach conflicts with maturity, humility, and a sincere desire to find solutions rather than fuel division.
Wisdom builds bridges whereas pride builds walls. Choosing humility, letting go of grudges, and trusting God with the things we cannot control requires strength. True peace is not found in proving a point but in fostering understanding and unity.
As we move forward, let us commit to being a community that values relationships over rivalries, solutions over obstacles, and peace over pride. Townsend is more than just a place to live—it is a home. And home is worth fighting for—not with conflict, but with compassion and grace.
"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."
— Ronald Reagan.
To connect with Ellie @Facebook.com/coachelliewest
