Friendships
 | Author:
Ellie West
Inside Inspiration: Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy |
A “friend,” according to the dictionary, is “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.” It comes from the Old English friend, of Germanic origin, and is related to Dutch friend and German Freund, from an Indo-European root meaning “to love,” shared by “free.”
C.S. Lewis says friendship is less valued in modern times than it was viewed in earlier times. What makes it distinctive to the degree that it has suffered this devaluation? He states that, first and foremost, the obvious answer is that few value it because few experience it. I would have to agree with C.S. Lewis’ statement. Do most of us genuinely experience true friendships in our life? I’m not so sure the majority of the population does.
What is a true friendship? It’s not only about choosing good friends but also about knowing how to be a good friend. We desire to have those deep and lasting friendships in our life. But it seems that friends come and go, and some are in our life for a short time or just a season. We have friends for many reasons, but who are those friends who stay with you through not only the celebrations but the challenges of life? It is our human nature to seek out friendships. But those who seek friends to have many friends are more likely to fail. For example: how many friends do you have on social media? Are those your true friends? Possibly some are, and some may be on your friend list for a different purpose.
Are some friends chosen out of convenience? Or perhaps you have a conditional friendship that would not be there if it did not benefit the other person.
True friendships have opportunities to grow and deepen when each person can focus on valuing the other person. It takes time to cultivate a deep and healthy friendship.
As my husband and I discussed this subject, we talked about our daughter's relationship with her best friend. I remember when they met in school and started to hang out together. They were slowly building their relationship and getting to know each other while spending more time together. Now both in their late 30’s, they still have an extraordinary relationship. They know each other so well…it is as if they are soul sisters. Having a friendship like that is such a blessing, but it takes time and commitment on both parts.
Have they had their disagreements…yes! But, what I have always admired about both of them is that they can sit down and have a conversation and talk through their disagreements. It says in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” This verse says that when you have that kind of friendship, you WILL put aside your life, desires, and needs to make time for that person regardless of the situation. You will do whatever it takes to help and be there for your friend. I have observed this many times with my daughter and her best friend. They are consistent in their relationship; they support, celebrate, laugh, cry, play, and vacation together. They always seem to make time for each other.
Developing friendships at school, in your neighborhood, or work can be challenging. You have those friendships, and then something may happen, and suddenly, your friendship is no longer there. It is like the changing of seasons. Life happens; maybe a move, divorce, change of jobs, or the time you spend with someone becomes less frequent. Do you have that friend with whom you feel safe, supported, inspired, and encouraged?
In the last couple of years, I have been very fortunate to have some exceptional women come into my life. God has replaced the friendships that no longer served me with friendships that embrace me.
”As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has or ever will have something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.” ~Fred Rogers
To connect with Ellie, FB @coachelliewest https://www.coachinghearttoheart.com
