Failed Friendships
 | Author:
Ellie West, Certified Master Practitioner of NLP, Time Line Therapy, and Hypnosis
Inside Inspiration: Certified NLP Coach/Practitioner Of Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy |
Failed Friendships
Ellie West
Certified Master Practitioner of NLP, Time Line Therapy, and Hypnosis
Even the closest friendships have moments of hurt - distance, misunderstandings, and disagreements. Losing a friendship can shake your world, weaken your confidence, and challenge your identity. The pain from these experiences can linger for years.
Friendships hold immense value, worth fighting for, praying about, and working through. Despite our best and imperfect efforts, many of us have faced the heartache of failed friendships.
When a friendship dissolves, it feels like a lonely loss, a private grief hidden from the world. No one will send you sympathy cards or flowers, and Hallmark doesn't make friendship break-up cards.
Even Jesus, who loved perfectly, endured broken friendships. On the night of his arrest, at his most vulnerable moment, his friends fell asleep while he wept alone. Hours later, one of his trusted friends betrayed him.
We all experience friendship fallout in various ways and for different reasons. Sometimes, life takes you in separate directions, and you discover you have little in common. Perhaps it's a misunderstanding that spiraled out of control, words spoken in haste that can't be taken back.
Other times, subtle feelings and unhealthy patterns seep in, causing the tiny cracks of trust to grow insurmountable. Or it might be the slow drift, where you stopped calling, texting, and making time for each other until one day, you realize there's an ocean between you.
Friendships can crumble due to various factors, such as mismatched expectations, competitiveness, or envy.
Stepping back to reflect on what went wrong is crucial. This introspection can help free you from the destructive thoughts that unfairly blame yourself or your friends. It's an opportunity to say, "This is what happened and why." It may not amend the outcome, but can help you understand the loss. It's a chance to consider the changes you want to make in your future actions or the patterns you allow to develop in other relationships.
Sometimes, a broken friendship forces us to confront our blind spots, insecurities, and quirks. Recognizing these issues can be a positive motivation for personal growth and change.
Shifting your mindset to see the truth as a springboard for transformation is vital. For example, reframe the thought "This is all my fault" with "I contributed to this conflict, and my friend did too. We both need to take responsibility." However, avoiding taking on too much responsibility or unfairly blaming your friend without honestly assessing your shortcomings is essential.
Reevaluate your perspective and consider, "Yes, you did things that hurt me, but my words and actions weren't perfect either. We both let each other down, and I take full responsibility for my part.”
Because of failed friendships, we have become a lonely nation, and as a result, we are also broken. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
How many of you feel you can ask a neighbor or friend for help? Often, it seems that we don’t want to bother someone, so we choose not to ask for help, and this has caused us to become isolated.
Have you ever experienced that sense of loneliness, like something is missing, yet you can’t pinpoint it? Many days I have felt that way. You may have friends and family close by, and work keeps you busy; you surround yourself with people and scroll social media for hours trying to connect, but you still feel alone.
"In my quest to understand the essence of true friendships, I asked others what friendship means, and I received many different insights. There was one particular response that resonated deeply with me - a friend is someone who embodies unwavering commitment.
Friendship is similar to a beautiful tapestry woven with care that takes time and dedication. True friendship is a labor of love that requires commitment, adding value to others instead of taking value away. It embraces both the joys and challenges that come with it.
It's about being an empathetic listener, striving to understand even when your viewpoints differ. It flourishes in an environment free from judgment, where we celebrate our friends' uniqueness and shared experiences.
Don’t run when you feel misunderstood…learn to love people in the season they are experiencing. We all make mistakes and cause each other pain, but we are called to do something different. Let's approach one another with gentleness and sensitivity and be ready to forgive.
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ~C.S.Lewis
Connect with Ellie FB @coachelliewest Certified Master Practitioner of NLP, TLT, and Hypnosis
